The Latest News:)

I haven't really been on here lately; there's been a lot going on. We decided that I'm going to homeschool Jacob this year for first grade. It's been a really hard decision because there are 2 or 3 LPN jobs here in our area (one being in behavioral health, which I absolutely love and am fascinated with), and that doesn't happen too often. I've questioned whether or not we made the right decision, but I know in my heart, it's what I'm supposed to do at this time. Homeschooling is actually a lot more work than I ever could have thought. Legally, you have to keep excellent records, spend so many hours, etc. I really am excited about it because I think it will be a good thing for our family. Also, I plan to start an after school tutoring program of some kind and also start teaching English to people in our area who can't speak it. I'm hoping to have a couple classes a week at night and maybe even tutor individuals. It's so exciting what God has been bringing our way.

There have been lots of big decisions lately. We also decided, if the bank approves our construction loan, that we are going to build a simple house out on our property, nice but simple. (For those of you who don't know, the house that we had there was burnt to the ground 3 days before Jaden was born.) BUT, we are building it ourselves with some help from a couple people but really, mostly done by us. Dan actually went to vo-tech school for this, so he is really excited about building us a home; it's been a dream of his for a long time to build his own house. I'm really excited about it all. We'll be able to build it for much cheaper than we could if someone were building it for us. We could sell the property now, as is, but we feel that if we want to sell it eventually, it will go for a lot more with a nice house on it. I'll just be glad to have our own home with no mold/mildew growing in millions of places.:)LOL Don't get me wrong; we keep a very clean house, but the mold in this little house is sometimes hard to deal with, especially sinus wise.

We both feel that God is calling us to New York eventually, but we feel that it's just not the right time. We have to get our responsibilities in order and really pray this one through. Lately, we've been dealing with finding a new church family. There are lots of things that I want to write but just can't at this point because things are just too raw still, but I will say this, especially for those hearing rumors. We know that it was time for us to leave where we were at; it was just obvious to us in so many ways. We both want to be ALIVE in our spiritual walk and want our kids to see Jesus as ALIVE through us. Know that we're not in any means perfect; we sin, just like every other human out there. But we want to be filled and used by the Holy Spirit. I feel as though, in some ways, I personally, am just starting to wake up out of a spiritually dry/dead state myself. I have been trying for too long to please others instead of Who I should really be striving to please. In some ways, leaving the church we were in was like a breakup and very much like losing a limb. It's been really really hard, but we know it was the right thing for our family. And we do still have some very dear friends from there that we keep in touch with. You know who you are.:)

We have found a new church that we've been going to; we're still keeping our options open, though. This new church, though, has really had a couple of blessed services the times that we have went, and they are so open to God's leading and even change and reaching out into the community around us. So far, we like it a lot. The people are very nice and down to earth, and they even have a small church library; I love reading, so that was a huge hit.:)LOL

Anyway, just some of what has been going on in the Lockcuff family.:)

Tidbits

Today started out as usual, but now I'm just not feeling very well, and I can't really understand it; it kinda feels like you do when you first start getting a really bad headcold.:( Anyway, I was reading my book again this morning, and I just had another aha moment, well, several aha moments, but I will share only one or two. I have a feeling this book is going to be one huge aha moment for me, because I can already feel it stirring up my heart and soul. I'll just type in the parts that got to me; here, he's talking about different ways the church is reacting to the world today and its antagonism to our Christian beliefs.
1. Running away from the world, circling our wagons, and saying, "Isn't it horrible the way people are living out there?"
But here's my aha moment:
2. Making harsh and condemning statements about the world and its people, forgetting that they are not our enemy but rather our mission field...But this is not the task of Christians; as Paul (an apostle no less) clearly wrote, "What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside" (1Corinthians 5:12-13). Our job is not to castigate unbelievers but rather to humbly look within our own ranks to see if we church people are actually living out the Christian life as God intended.
This really spoke to me because so often I get so frustrated with unbelievers and the way things just seem thrown at us in the world; lots of churches do this too, but in a sense, what are we throwing back? Are we looking at them as our mission field? Are we seeing them in love, through God's eyes, or are we seeing them as our enemies?
He also talks about how in Acts 17, when Paul came to Berea and started teaching, the people there didn't just believe every word he said; they went straight to the plumb line of the eternal Word of God...When we test everything by the Word of God, we are doing nothing more or less than honoring again the Holy Spirit who authored it.
This is something I have failed in; I don't always search out the Bible; sadly, I have listened and taken things in without first measuring it by the Bible.
And then he talks about how we want to be involved in ministry and we want to go now instead of waiting on the Spirit of God; he uses Acts 1 as an example when the apostles were told to wait for the Spirit before going out. Most of the time, I just want to go and go now. But if I don't have the Spirit of God in me, what good is it going to do? It will do more harm than good.
He also mentioned about how Peter had denied Christ even to the point of cursing but how God still used Peter as an apostle and minister of the Word. I mean, look at how much Peter accomplished. It is possible. That, to me, is hope. No matter what I've done, God still wants to use me. That is wonderful, glorious, and so full of hope and power.
Anyway, I know this was a lot, but I just am seeing so many "aha's" in this, that I don't want to keep it to myself. It's exciting, and for the first time in a long while, I can really feel God working.

Just have to share

I came across something this morning that I just have to share. It's like an aha moment for me; the light bulb has turned on.:) I'm reading a book by Jim Cymbala now called "Fresh Power." I'll just type in the paragraph that really shook me and opened up my eyes this morning.
While Christ's work on the cross, the shedding of his blood, was the only way to settle the problem of guilt, sin, and condemnation, the coming of the promised Holy Spirit was God's way of changing human beings from the inside out. The law given to Moses had failed on this very point. It was in itself holy and just, but the problem was the sinful nature within people. Now the Holy Spirit dwelling in the hearts of believers would conquer the age-old dilemma of "I want to be different but can't. I know what's wrong- but I keep doing it anyway." This empowerment by the Spirit would be the dynamic source throughout time for all who live and labor for Jesus Christ.
This just really spoke to me because so many times I fail God by sinning, and it's not that I don't want to change; I really do but sometimes can't see how it's to be done. It's by His Spirit that we change and can only hope to change, though. We have to ask for His Spirit to come into us and change us from the inside out because that's the only way.
When we were in New York City, we attended Brooklyn Tabernacle, and Pastor Cymbala had talked quite a bit about asking for the Holy Spirit, and I think this just made it hit a little closer to home for me. I just wanted to share this with you all because it was a real blessing to me this morning; it's like the lights have come on. I can't hope to change, unless I ask the Holy Spirit to change me. Wow! So simple, yet so exciting!

Today

So, I finally figured out how to put music on here too; I'm slowly learning.:) I'll have to go in and rearrange it a little and add some more, but it's a start.
So, Jacob went to the dr yesterday, and we found out he has a really bad double ear infection; he has never even complained about his ears, although I should have known because he's been not able to hear me very well lately. That should have been my first clue. It's so bad that he has a big blister on his eardrum. Ouch. So, hopefully, we can get him on the mend. Jaden is just teething now; I think I hear him in there; he has woke up from his nap.:) That's about the only time I can get on here is if he's napping. He is in that exploring stage right now where everything, and I do mean everything, is very interesting to him, and he has to have it. I think he's going to be our temperamental child; fun times.
So, lately, I've been just trying to learn to live in the moment. Too much of the time, we let all the little things upset us, we tend to focus on all the things that need done, and we spend much of our time either working our fingers to the bone to try to keep everything just right, or we worry if it's not getting done. I'm learning lately, though, that my children need me, and if I want them to grow up and reach out, I have to live in the moment with them each and every day. God put us here on this earth for a purpose, and we need to seek out that purpose; He wants us to enjoy our life, not just muddle through it. I think living in the moment for me can be just getting down on the floor and playing with Jaden or reading a book to Jacob or even playing countless rounds of Candyland.:) Even just to see my life as so fortunate; I mean, I have a house, we have a car, we have food on our table. We could definitely be a lot worse off. I guess I'm just trying to say that it's so important for us to truly live, not just every day, but every moment and every single second. We are only here for a short time, and our time could be up tomorrow.
As for that video I'm trying to make of NYC, well, it's coming, albeit slowly and frustratingly. I finally got it uploaded to Google, but now all the pics are fuzzy, so we're trying to fix that. Hopefully, today.

Hey and Hello

Well, finally got this blog somewhat figured out. Just saying hi for my first post. Saturdays are wonderful, except today my kids are sick. Poor Jacob is just miserable, and Jaden is ok, just fussy. I always hate it when they're sick because it's hard seeing them in pain. It makes me feel for those moms whose kids are sick with cancer or some other serious disease that makes them suffer more than any child should ever have to endure. It makes me think of my nephew, Trey, and his mom, Jennifer. Not only do the kids suffer, but the moms suffer in agony just watching their child go through that. I can only imagine. Anyway, I'm so excited to have finally gotten this started. More to come...:)