This is a really personal post, and it's not easy for me to write this....I don't want anyone to think I'm weird or "out there." I'm truly not, I promise....but if this can help another woman who is having the same issues, then I hope it can be a blessing. For about 8 years now, ever since I was pregnant with our first child, I've had dreams....not just your average dreams, though. I believe I had these as a child too because I can remember waking up sobbing, but the ones in the last 8 years have been the most vivid and have really stuck with me. These dreams will only come every so often, usually when something big is about to happen, and I don't know it yet, or when something big has already happened. At first, I counted them as nightmares, and I still think of them as that, because usually, they involve deep emotions, horrific/awful sights, possibly friends/family at times, and the haunting faces of those I don't even know. Often I'll wake up crying or sobbing from the dreams, and I can't get them out of my head for days, even weeks.
Last week, I had another one. It's been a while since I've actually experienced one of them, but this one topped them all. It involved two children, one whose face I can still see. I thought, in my dream, that I was in Africa, but I'm not so sure now....the children looked like they could have been from El Salvador or even the Philippines, somewhere like that. There was a genocide going on, though, and I won't even begin to describe the utterly horrid things I saw in the dream; they just make me sick to think about. The children were what grabbed at my heart, though. They had noone; they were so alone in their little world, just trying to survive in such an awful situation. Their parents, I guess, had been killed. I was determined to bring them home with me and take care of them; their faces haunted me, the utter look of hopelessness. The two caseworkers I was with, though, sat me down and told me absolutely not; one was even laughing that I would consider such a preposterous thing; they had survived this long, let them survive here. As I was arguing with them most vehemently, getting more and more angry, I woke up. It was one of those times that I didn't wake up crying, but I tried to go back to sleep, just so I could finish out the dream and get my way in bringing those children back with me. For all of that day and the next, I could not get those faces out of my head.
I ended up talking to a very good friend about it, and she had learned something long ago, that honestly, I had never thought about before.....she actually told me this a few months ago, but she refreshed it in my heart and mind again. She told me that she really believes God is calling me to intercessory prayer for those children. Those children may represent someone out there in the world right now who is going through a similar situation. I need to use that emotion that I feel, and I just need to pray it out to God.....surrender the whole dream and whatever it means over to Him and seriously get on my knees for the people/situations that I dream about.
At first, my dreams really scared me, and they still do. I know other members of my family do the same thing that I do....I honestly didn't know what to think when I'd dream about someone or something, and then something big with that person or situation would happen; I've actually had to pick my mouth up off the floor.....but I do believe my friend is right. God knows all; He knows what happened yesterday, what will happen today, and what will happen tomorrow. If He is calling me to prayer, then I don't want to fail Him, and I don't want to fail the ones He has called me to pray for. Maybe you have the same kinds of dreams, or maybe you have faces that still haunt you....say a prayer today. In fact, say many prayers. We must move from asking God to take care of the things that are breaking our hearts, to praying about the things that are breaking His heart. ~Margaret Gibb