Motivate Me Monday- Contentment

This weekend, we've been having a Road to Avonlea marathon, since Jaden has been quite sick, and he's just needed time to get over this horrible cough/ear infection.  As I watched one episode this afternoon, Aunt Janet was telling Mrs. Blaine how much she just loved baking, how she'd get up in the morning and stick the rising loaves in the warmer, fix a cup of coffee, and look out the window and over the meadow to see the sun rise.  It struck me how content she seemed (even though she was just acting, because, of course, this was just a movie). In her role as a homemaker, though, Aunt Janet was content, truly content.  It made me almost wish for simpler times....

I can honestly say that right now, I am more content than I have ever been.  Sure, I still feel that restless spirit, driving me on to do more, in the way of ministry/adoption/etc., and I still feel that desire to have a place of our own, possibly even a small place in the country, so our kids can have a few animals; BUT in my role as a wife and as a mommy and as a writer, I am content.  Sure, we have our iffy days, but I wouldn't trade my job for anything.  I think right now, my struggle is finding that balance.  How do I find balance between my jobs with homeschooling and stuff around the house and church/outside activities, along with my writing work?  I've tried so many different tactics, and it all boils down to just really letting go and letting God head up my day.  If things get done, great!  If they don't get done, well, then I did my best.  That's all I can humanly do.  

Then comes the guilt, though.  If I can't be everything and do everything that needs to be done, whether it's for my business or for my kids....in comes that guilt, threatening to stifle my joy.  If I end up having to push back that deadline, or if I end up not being able to take my kids to the park....that guilt steals in.  Maybe I might put a movie on for the kids because I have to meet a deadline, or maybe I can't volunteer with a specific ministry at church.  The guilt comes with it.  All that guilt really does, though, is rob me of my joy and take my focus off what's important.  There's no way I'll ever be perfect.  There's no way I can ever live up to all of the expectations that others place on me or the ones that I place on myself.  God can give me that contented spirit, though.  If I just let Him have it all, have control of it all, He can balance everything out in His way, His time.  So, maybe instead of wishing for simpler times when things were easier or instead of down deep wishing that I could be perfect in being everything for everyone.....maybe I just need to switch my focus off finding the balance to finding the awareness.  Meaning, I need to be aware that not everything is going to get done, and that's ok.  I might have to say "no" to some things, but it's going to be ok.  Meaning that I need to switch my focus off of myself (where the guilt truly originated from) and onto the task at hand.  

So, this week, instead of seeking for balance in your life, seek for contentment that only He can give.  Once we learn to let go and let Him steer the course of our days, the balance will come.  With contentment will come balance....

For more Motivate Me Monday, link up with Sarah at The Fifth Street Palace.