Monday, November 9, 2009

Motivate Me Monday- The Focus of Our Frustrations

With wife and motherhood come great like I've never had before, joy like no other.  Wife and motherhood also bring frustration at times, though.....frustration like no other.:)  When you wake up and the kids are already off the wall at 4:30 in the morning.....or when you oversleep and don't get that extra time in the morning and it throws you behind all day.....or when you step on those oh so sharp little cars and legos (Ouch!)....etc., etc.  Where is the frustration truly from, though?

I heard another mom recently saying how sometimes when she's already frustrated with circumstances, that frustration can easily lead to frustration with her husband or children....and then that frustration is taken out on her husband and children.  I could so relate.  So many times, I will have something else on my mind, something that is completely unrelated to what they are doing, but that frustration will lead to me snapping at them for something that really isn't that big of a deal.  If I would just take the frustration I am dealing with and realize where the root of it lies, then I could deal with the actual problem and not create more problems by hindering my relationships with my family.  I hope this makes sense. 

I think realizing where the focus of your frustration should really lie truly takes diligence and thoughfulness on your part, as well as soaking your day in prayer.  Since I've realized this lately, I've really tried to think before I snap...."what am I really frustrated about?"  I have to ask myself that.  Yes, sometimes I still snap at them, but if I really think about it, I realize that they are sometimes not the focus of my frustration.  (Now, we all know that we can be frustrated with them, so I say sometimes.:))  When I think about what I'm really arguing about with my husband, sometimes I realize that I'm arguing for no clear reason; it's just because I'm frustrated about something else.  The other problem that has led you to be frustrated might be stress due to work, money, health problems, etc.  We all have these problems, but we all deal with them in different ways. 

I think one other aspect of this that the Lord has been dealing with me on lately, that I'd like to blog more about later on, is disciplining my kids.  When I discipline them, am I disciplining them for the right reasons?  Am I doing it out of love, or am I doing it out of anger & frustration?  If discipline is not out of love, then it will do nothing but tear down relationships and trust; discipline, not done out of love, could crush their spirit....not only that, but your children can read through you.....children just have a way of seeing through us, don't they?  They know what is truly going on; I really believe that.  Sometimes discipline just takes consistency; it's not necessarily the quantity of discipline (for example, how many things you take away or ground them from), but it's the consistency and the motives that lie behind it.....

I think all of these things are related.  One verse that has stuck out in my mind lately, and I know I truly need to listen to it, especially on those days when I'm struggling with frustration, is this verse: And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord- Ephesians 6:4 (NKJV).  I hope that this encourages all of you mothers out there today.

For more Motivate Me Monday, visit Sarah at The Fifth Street Palace. 


The Fifth Street Mama November 9, 2009 at 1:43 AM  

Sigh. Thank you for that last point about disciplining out of love. I sure needed that reminder.
Have a great week Mel and thanks for linking up!

M at Hidden Valley Simplicity November 9, 2009 at 9:32 AM  

KNIFE to the heart over why I discipline. . . . UGH!

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